Jagged Pieces

Tonight I am this sky
Darker than the inky sea
Not seen, not heard in a million years.
Darker than this emptiness
This hollow, shriveled self.
I am all the stillness outside
I am all the darkness in my veins

Groping to hold on to something
My fingers clutch the bitterness, so cold
It swallows me whole, yet it is elusive.
Now one image to behold, just this once?
No! A million shards it is.
Jagged pieces, each one a souvenir of an affliction
One failure after another,
Despair leading on to despair.
Hacking my soul with the sharp edges
Clawing at this self I had made
Piece by piece,
Illusion leading on to illusion.
I’m wretched now, bleeding a black blood
That runs in a burning river
Viscous, acid, poisoned.

I sit in this hell,
Is it the darkness or am I gone blind?
A hell beyond any hell.
And I wait.
Maybe I’ve been waiting all along
Maybe everything, everyone is waiting for that End
Some more deceived than the others,
But all like me, worthless dust
Raised to selfhood, yes, but dust nontheless.